Christmas in July (Quite Literally): Florida 2017

Fun fact about my family: we don't get Christmas presents. When I was 8, my parents decided we didn't need any more stuff. Now, we get Christmas vacations. On Christmas mornings, we all crack open our stockings. Somewhere amid all the candy, comics, and orange, we can find a puzzle. Usually my triplet siblings (yes, you read that right), Abi, Bri, and Dave, have their puzzle cut into pieces. They find their pieces around the house. My sister Ashlyn and I keep ours whole. We then each solve our individualized puzzle, whether it be a number, word, or other puzzle. Once all five puzzles are solved, we have the location, date, prospective activities, and who we are going with. For Christmas in 2016, we got a trip to Florida with some of our cousins on my mom's side, the Evans family.

The Evans family has nine kids, eight of whom are boys. Brett is the oldest and married Kelsey in December 2015. At the time of the trip, he was 23. Next comes Matt, aged 21 at the time. Savannah was born next. She's special needs and only 7 months older than me. She was 19 at the time. Then come the twins, Jared and Trevor. They were 17 and headed into their senior year of high school. Gage follows them and had just barely turned 15. Then, my aunt Sarah and uncle David have a small gap in their kids. Next up is Parker (9), Jonah (8), and Cole (6). Their family fits perfectly with ours, not only because my mom and Sarah are best friends, but also because their ages match up really well with ours. I fall between Savannah and the twins. The twins are a little over a year older than my sister Ashlyn. The triplets follow Gage by a year. Our families also share a love of being outdoors and going on adventures. We travel together pretty frequently.

Day 1

We left for Orlando in the afternoon. None of the Evans kids other than Brett had ever flown, so it was very entertaining to watch. Matt didn't come with us, but when he made his way to Florida separately, he told us he had been pretty scared on the way there, so I wish I had been able to see that. Matt is 6'4 and a big burly man so I imagine that was funny to witness. I sat between Cole and Jared. It was so fun to watch. Cole was slightly terrified during takeoff, but he made it through just fine. I love being with my cousins because we always just talk and laugh. Because there were 20 of us, we took up a fair amount of the plane. I honestly feel bad for the people all around us.

When we finally made it into Orlando, it took over two hours to get us a suitable rental car. We eventually made it to our hotel after a quick stop at McDonalds and headed for bed. Orlando is two hours ahead of Salt Lake and we wanted to make sure we were on the right time schedule for the day to come.

Day 2

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures from our first day here even though it was awesome. We went to the Kennedy Space Center, which sounds really nerdy, until you realize it's an interactive space museum. One of the buildings had a 360 degree movie followed up by a playground. They had massive three story slides, glass tubes four stories up to climb through, and a multitude of other activities all relating to space. We also got to take a tram out to look at where they built rockets in the past.

One of my favorite parts of the day came from a challenge I'd issued the three little boys earlier in the day. I'm kind of a prankster and that gets amplified when I'm with my cousins. I told the three little boys that I would pay a quarter to the person who pants-ed my brother Dave the most during the day. The challenge was on and it was hilarious to see them try to get under his skin.

After the Kennedy Space Center, we drove down to our condo in West Palm Beach, where we were staying. When we go on joint trips with my cousins, I usually do a lot of the caretaking of the three little boys. I love kids, particularly them, so this is no additional burden to me. Jared and I took the boys to the beach right in front of our condo and then to the pool while our parents went shopping. When they finished shopping, we ate dinner in my parents' condo and headed for bed.

We split our four condos up in a super fun way. All the teens (me, Matt, Jared, Trevor, Ashlyn, and Gage) shared the condo that conjoined with Brett and Kelsey's. We had a ton of fun and talked a lot. We also pranked a lot, which is something we do pretty often. My parents shared a condo with Dave, Abi, and Bri. Sarah and David shared a condo with Savannah, Parker, Jonah, and Cole.

Before bed, Mom and I went and walked on the beach, just the two of us. My mom is super smart. Every time I talk to her, I gain some new insight into the world. One of my favorite things about my mom is that she is completely willing to listen and then only gives advice if you ask her for it. I hope to one day be the kind of mom that she is. She always makes time for me and my problems, no matter how petty they may be. Our beach walk was insightful but cut short when we couldn't stop running into the caution tape surrounding turtle nests. We headed indoors to protect the turtles.

Ashlyn and I post-snorkeling

Day 3

We drove down and spent the day at Biscayne National Park. To get there, you have to drive a bit south of Miami and drive over a series of bridges. It was worth it for the amazing views.

Once we got to Biscayne, we took a snorkeling tour. Most of the Evans had not been snorkeling before, so it was really fun to watch them experience it for the first time.

On our way out to the reef, we got caught in a massive rainstorm. We ended up having to turn back and going to an island made nearly completely of mangroves to seek shelter. We spent about thirty minutes on the island under a covered picnic area to try to stay safe.

When we finally made it out to the reef, the snorkeling was okay. Because of the storm, the visibility wasn't great, but it was still really fun to see all the Evans kids figuring out snorkeling for the first time.

On our way back, I made everyone stop for dinner at a small authentic Honduran food place. It reminded me a ton of the Costa Rican food I'd grown accustomed to only two months before. No one there spoke English, so I helped my whole family order in Spanish.

Funny story: on our way back to the condo from the restaurant, Dave would not stop annoying Bri and Abi, who were sitting on either side of him in the back of the van we had rented. At home, we drive a Suburban and Dave sits in the back with no one in the seat next to him because he can be a lot to handle. They would not quit arguing and bugging each other. Mom told them that if she heard one more bit of fighting out of the three of them, they wouldn't get to come with us on the next flying vacation. They fought again and you'll have to stay tuned to see if my mom followed through with her threat. When we made it home, everyone was exhausted from the day of snorkeling and arguing, so we immediately went to bed.

Day 4

We had a chill day on the beach mid-vacation. Because our condo was on the beach, it was really easy to go back and forth between the two. I'm pretty sure the only reason we had a full beach day is that my dad had to work. Regardless, I enjoyed it tons. I can splash around in the waves for hours and never get tired of it. We built sandcastles, went swimming and bodysurfing, and overall just messed around. I love the beach.

Day 5

My dad insisted that we do a test dive before going scuba diving later in the week. Bri and Dave had quite literally gotten their dive certifications the day we left for Florida (we almost missed our flight because picking up their certifications had taken so long) so my dad wanted to test their abilities. We rented gear from a dive shop on some random inlet under a bridge in West Palm Beach. I lugged all our gear over to the beach we dove off of by myself. I set everyone's stuff up and got everyone into the water. It was absolutely miserable. I'm a good diver from my swimming background, and this turned out to be the worst dive of my life. There was nothing to see, we were only 20 feet down, and the current was so strong that I had to keep going back and grabbing my siblings to make sure they stay with us. I would not recommend it. We went to Dairy Queen as a reward for finishing our dives.

Mom and I on the beach

When we got back to the condo, we went down to the beach. I honestly enjoyed just hanging out at the beach with my cousins and mom a lot more than the scuba dive. Parker and Gage got into a contest to see who could jump the farthest. Parker is crazy athletic, so he actually got shockingly close to where Gage landed. Parker also raced an entire family of black people down the beach. I'm fairly certain one of them was a basketball player for University of San Francisco, which is hilarious because they are in our conference. Overall the day ended a lot better than it started out.

Day 6

I went scuba diving with Bri and Dave. Dad came with us to make sure that we were safe, but he didn't dive himself. Part of the test dive the day before had been to see what weight we would each need to take down with us. Even with his own BCD, he couldn't fit in it so he was unable to dive. I wish that I had some pictures, but I don't.

Because I was with new and inexperienced divers, we had to come up quite quickly because they sucked all their air down. The dive was actually quite a pretty coral one and we got to dive off a boat. I was a little disappointed because right after we came out of the water, the group saw a massive hammerhead shark that we missed. Too bad... we can't change that now!

When we made it back to the condo, we hung out on the beach and in the pool. Jared and I babysat so our two sets of parents could go out to eat. Jared and I are usually partners in crime, as we get along the best out of anyone. You can see how great of babysitters we are in the video. Cole and I are cuddling on the bed when Parker jumps up with us. Gage spanks him and things escalate from there. I'm not sure why this video is so funny to me, but it definitely shows what we are normally like when we hang out.

Sunrise

Day 7

Mom and I woke up early to watch the sunrise. Sunrises and sunsets are the best thing on the planet, especially when they are over an ocean. I am always willing to watch any sunset and will even get up early to watch a sunrise, something I normally detest.

After watching the sunrise, everyone else got up and we headed to church. Imagine the ward's surprise when 20 new people walked in. It was awesome. Then, we headed down near Mar a Lago to look at some graffiti museum thing my mom had found on the internet. As part of our church, we aren't supposed to spend money on Sundays, so we always try to do our cheap and/or free activities on Sunday. My parents also don't like us getting in the water on Sunday so that influences things as well.

Mar a Lago views

After looking at a bunch of graffiti, we rented bikes and took them for a ride on the seaside trails in and around Mar a Lago. We looked at all sorts of mansions, yachts, and golf courses. When we rode by Trump's estate, we made sure to flip it off (no love for Trump in this family... or at least this portion of the family). The bike ride was beautiful and we headed home tired and ready for an early bedtime.

Day 8

We drove down to the Florida Keys. David Evans really wanted to go to the southernmost point of the contiguous 48, so drove down and visited. It took nearly six hours to get there. After eating a Cuban sandwich, we drove back up a ways to Islamorada. Originally, we were planning on having a beach day in the Keys, but there was a huge storm, so we opted to wait it out in the car. Ashlyn, Abi, and I were squished in the back, so we ended up making some random singing videos that I've attached for your personal enjoyment.

When we made it back to Islamorada, we all got some fish'n'chips. Dad also got us an order of alligator that we all got to share. I tried it, but it wasn't my favorite to be quite honest. It's a little chewier in texture than chicken, but it has the same bland flavoring unless you season it. We had fried alligator, it wasn't seasoned particularly well so that may have been part of the problem.

We went on an illuminated paddleboard tour that night. It was UNREAL! I would recommend this to literally anyone. They also had some illuminated kayaks, so they could accommodate all ages and levels of comfort. We went around a protected little cove of mangroves, so it wasn't wavy at all.

Illuminated paddleboard tour

For the first part of our tour, I had Parker on the front of my board. We made it our mission to knock almost everyone else off of their boards. When we knocked Cole off, he was NOT happy. He had finally reached the age when he wouldn't just automatically forgive me, so I ended up having to go and apologize to him with his favorite candy bar the next morning. Cole and I normally are thick as thieves, so that was a new experience for me.

Perhaps my favorite part of the tour was seeing a manatee. He came right up to our group (probably to explore all the lights) and gave several of our boards a nudge. It was a surreal experience. We all wanted to touch the manatee, but we were respectful and gave the animal its space. We also several small sharks, some barracudas, and various other kinds of fish. To this day, that is one of my favorite tours ever. Everyone should go on illuminated tour at some point. You just see different things at night than you see during the day.

Because we had an extremely long car ride back, I rode in Brett and Kelsey's car because I knew most everyone in my car would be asleep. Brett and Kelsey only had their own car because Kelsey gets car sick so they had to. Jared came along with us. Brett, Jared, and I belted out pretty much all of Billy Joel's greatest hits on the ride back. Kelsey didn't know any of his songs, so we had to introduce them to her. Grandpa Lofgren (both our moms' dad) is an incredible musician, and Billy Joel is one of his favorite artists. When we were kids, he would burn individualized CDs with us almost every time we came over, and you better believe every CD had at least one Billy Joel song on it. The others were usually pretty bad (my mom is convinced he swayed us towards bad songs because he wanted to torment her with what we would want to listen to in the car), but the Billy Joel ones were always spot on and now we know all the words.

Airboat tour

Day 9

We drove from West Palm Beach back to Orlando in the morning in preparation of leaving early the next morning. On our way back, we took a half day airboat tour. My dad's absolute favorite thing to do in Florida is these airboat tours. Essentially, you get in a small piece of aluminum with a massive fan on the back and fly across the water. You can go into water as little as one foot deep. They also can turn really sharply as well as accelerate extremely quickly. They make for a super fun ride and make seeing alligators and various marshes simple. You can even get within like two to three feet of an alligator, which can get pretty sketchy, especially if you know they can jump to over two times their own body length. Regardless, it's a very entertaining and enlightening tour.

Alligator

During our tour, we even got to go into a different part of the marsh that was more river-like. We came across a part of the river that had some rope swings. Most people went on them, but I was in a full t shirt and shorts, so I didn't. Normally I will try anything, but I have no fondness for them after my hands slipped off on in Bear Lake and I fell in some super shallow water. I also had no desire to get in potentially alligator-infested water. Trevor even went off the top cliff jump. The tree was swaying so hard when he walked out there that we thought he might fall off. It was more than a little sketchy. Luckily, he made it out just fine.

We finished the tour and then headed the rest of the way up to Orlando. I picked out a great sports bar for our family to go eat. Sarah's family wanted to eat fast food so they didn't come with us. Turns out, they missed out greatly.

Gene Simmons, lead singer of KISS

When we went to dinner, we saw a massive commotion over at one of the other tables. Dad finally figured out that Gene Simmons, the lead singer of KISS, was at the restaurant. It turns out that he owned the sports bar we were at. He came and visited our table on three separate occasions, so we managed to get a picture with him. He even told Mom the key lime pie was "the most fun you can have with your pants on!" We were laughing so hard when he said that. We flew out the next morning and I'm grateful we got to have such a memorable and eventful last night, rather than going to some boring place to eat.

Life Lessons

Take more pictures because one day you are gonna want them.

Don't go scuba diving in only 20 feet of water when there's a strong current.

If Mom says to stop fighting, stop fighting.

Always sing songs you love at the top of your lungs when surrounded by good friends and family.

Stay far enough away from alligators and don't provoke them. You might not think they taste very good, but they might think you do.

Take a political stand and flip off the President's house if you don't like him.

Get a picture with a celebrity, even if your eyes are closed.